chibi chou

For you

2012-01-08T16:24:00.000-08:00

Hey..
I'm glad that we met after quite long time.. Actually, i was kinda confuse how to react. But i think i manage it well.. But you manage to make my morning mood a little bit bad.. Can't blame you though.. I'd do the same if i were you.. But the feeling that you make me down is soooo not good.. Sorry for being sulky..
Actually, i wanna say loads of things, but unfortunately, nothing came out.. Maybe i'm too afraid that i'd hear something thT i really don't wanna hear.. So, there i was, said nothing at all.. Haha..
Anyway, glad to meet you.. See you next time.. :)

2011-09-16T09:18:00.000-07:00

i did love you indeed.. too little to late to realize that..

2011-05-25T17:57:00.000-07:00

i really miss you guys today.. ike meriska,, risa iriani.. :'(

2011-02-22T09:19:00.000-08:00

kinda feel weird tonight.. i wish i have someone beside me..

2010-09-03T08:05:00.000-07:00

there are things that have to be said..
but i think this one i better keep it for my self..
it's the best for me and others..
huff..

euforia 3 hari..

2010-08-13T04:30:00.000-07:00

God,

if he is the one, please make him mine..

if he isn't, please make me forget..

thx..

-pengenalan kampus 2010-

birthday.. ^^

2010-05-10T08:02:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to meeeee.. ^^

yup, aku berulang tahun ke 21 hari ini.. banyak dkasih kejutan.. seneng juga.. hehe.. hari sabtu makan di caza suki sama kluarga.. trus td malem2 jam12 dkasih kue coklat sama papa mama kaka joe.. trus dkampus dkasih blueberry cheese cake factory dari temen2.. trus makan2 di pizza hut sama temen2..

kue dkampus sih bener2 gak dsangka.. soalnya trakhir kali dkasih kue sama tmen kyk nya pas 17th, sma brarti ya.. itu juga karena ada yang mau repot2.. stelah itu gak pnah lagi, krn blm nemuin lagi yang mau repot.. hehe.. so, i'm happy today.. thx for my big sis too who arrange this.. ^^

ada kue, brarti ada first cake.. tiba2 mreka rame banget triak2.. haha.. so, daripada lama, mending dkasihin.. the lucky person was ronald aka kuncen.. pcuma juga kasih yang laen.. pasti mreka gmw trima.. bner2 iseng deh anak2.. haha..

ngmg2 soal first cake, jadi inget festival pangan pas smester 4.. someone gave me his first cake.. di depan panggung, ditonton 1 angkatan, dosen, sama asisten.. heboh banget pokoknya.. -_-" that kind yet confusing person was clement.. and i was so shocked.. haha.. musti nya biar seru tadi dkasih nya ke dia aja ya.. too bad he wasn't around when the crowd gone mad this afternoon.. haha..

trus makan2 deh slese kelas di pizza hut semanggi.. tiba2 dtarik ke situ, panik juga kan ya.. secara maria gak bawa uang.. haha.. udah ada yang duduk di situ pula.. ada bbx, tedjo, epi, fanny, sama nessi.. ternyata si nana sudah janjian sama si mama.. so, tadi sore yang mau berbaik hati meluangkan waktu ada nana eas ferri nita nessi kuncen tejo bbx tif adit icha sama fanny.. too bad no photo was taken.. i kinda didn't remember to take any shoot for this precious moment.. anyway, thx all.. ^^

and the next few day, tanggal 12 tepatnya aku dapet 1 kue lagi.. dari panitia pengenalan kampus.. haha.. bener2 deh taun ini..

dan buat yang sangat baik hati juga, masih mengingat maria,, ada fabrian yang nelpon maria malem2, padahal dsana jam 3 pagi.. thx for you.. ^^
ada danta juga yang baik betul sampe kirim hadiah.. thx to you too dear.. ^^

so,, i' really really happy today.. thx for all person who was kind enough to remember and moreover celebrate my birthday.. love you all.. <3

for you..

2010-05-04T10:10:00.000-07:00

i will deny it no more..
but still,
i will say no word..
just for my self,
love you..

re-fall

2010-05-04T10:08:00.000-07:00

orhtros no inu.. and i'm certainly fall in love again with both of them.. ^^

confuse as always..

2010-04-04T08:11:00.000-07:00

well,, just read what my dear pal wrote to me.. and yup, I'm in denial.. pretty hard one i guess.. i like him, no doubt about it.. but i know, i won't make it good, no matter what.. i'm too selfish.. so, i guess it will hurt him if he try to involve in my life..

you know,, there's loads of question that i actually want to ask, which of course i can't.. is it ok to always want you around? is it ok to always be just friend? am i being a bad person? am i already hurt you? am i really LOVE him? or is it just temporary? is it ok to be this selfish? gosh, i hate my self..

well, i'm the worst person ever.. i'm the meanest person ever.. sorry.. not only to that one person who i guess would never read this blog.. but also to you, who probably would read this.. i know i've already hurt you..

say, should i somehow change my self? should i leave them alone? but, again because of my ego, i can't.. i'm too afraid to lose that comfort zone..

well, i really am the worst.. -_-"

PL

2010-02-08T05:01:00.000-08:00

yup, praktik lapangan..
suatu kegiatan yang males bangeeet.. hahaha..

waktu awal2 diberitakan ada praktek lapangan langsung terpikir BALI! yup, eksplorasi koral gitu deh, tapi yang paling penting jalan2 dan gak berhubungan dengan biotek.. haha.. tapi karena halangan dan rintangan akhirnya pupus lah di tengah jalan.. T_T
pilihan beralih di daerah jakarta aja, abisnya dah males cari ke mana2 lagi.. jadilah pl di Charoen pokphand di ancol. pemikiran awal: nebeng papa tiap hari. so, simple kan? haha.. tapi setelah dipikir2 kalo ikut papa, pulang nya bisa tua dlu baru djemput.. ato kalo pulang sendiri bisa mati di jalan.. haha.. jadilah mencari jalan lain: nge kos.. tapi setelah dcari2 gak ada kos daerah sana?! akhir nya dtemukan jalan laen: minjem apartemen orang.. jadilah sebulan rumah-rumahan di aston marina ancol tower c lantai 31a bersama jessica krisanti a.k.a jk.. haha..

kesan pl di cp? bosen.. gak nyambung sama biotek dengan cara yang nge bt in.. -_-"
awal2 dapet topik nya c namanya keren.. urusin ISO 17025.. ternyata kerjaan nya gak ada.. ngedit2 dokumen yang udah jadi.. kyk nya gak usah masuk biotek juga bisa deh kerjaan ini.. sampe sier di depan komputer.. -_-"
thx God setelah minggu kedua ganti jadi ekstraksi kolesterol.. ya, better lah tema nya.. setidaknya ada yang dikerjain, wlpn ttp gak nyambung.. haha..

just a memoir for my future.. ^^

for you who'll never read.. ^^

2009-11-11T02:53:00.000-08:00

well,, i do like you.. a lot maybe.. but still don't know whether it's love or not.. anyway, i like you when you around and i miss you when you're not.. truth is, i really don't know why i can end up with this feeling.. haha.. the fact that i'm stuck on you make me fell like i'm an idiot.. why? cause i've tried to deny that since the last time i broke up.. i'm still not ready yet to fall in that endless chain, feel happy yet sad in the same time.. feel love and hate in the same time.. hurt or to be hurt.. i think neither my feeling nor my heart ready for those kinda things yet.. haha..
so, i really hope that you don't feel what i feel.. because if yes, i don't know if i can say no to you.. my head is full enough, so i think i can't handle more than this.. so please please please, just let me be the one who need you to be around.. i think that'll be enough for me..^^

Seindah kupu-kupu

2009-10-29T08:16:00.000-07:00

cinta ku seindah kupu-kupu

menari indah

dibentang bunga kehidupan

cintaku..

kepak sayapnya seperti

melodi jiwa

harapanku bersamanya

selalu indah..

alunan hatiku tercipta karna mu

ribuan hariku, ku selalu bersamamu

tak ingin jauh.. dan ku tak bisa tanpamu

cinta kita..

bila ku cerita selalu tentang mu

ketika tertawa kuingat canda tawamu

cinta ini.. cinta yang tak akan mati

cinta kita seindah kupu-kupu…
-Hendry Limandry-

*duuuuhh.. kangen berat ni jadinya sama orang ini.. hehe..

so, never say forever..

2009-10-08T08:10:00.000-07:00

I wish a day would be,,
12 hours when it's boring,,
36 hours when it's hectic,,
48 hours when it's holiday,,
and
forever when you're with me..

ironically,
nothing last forever, ne?

cheer up! ^^

2009-08-26T08:35:00.000-07:00

i cried this morning.. aneh betul emang.. sampe gak ke kampus pula.. haha.. pertama2 maria pikir karena males ke kampus+sakit kepala.. udah kaya orang bego pagi2 nangis sampe tidur lagi.. untung gak diketawain pagi2 gara2 nangis gak jelas.. tapi setelah dipikir2, knapa semales itu ke kampus? kyk nya gak ada masalah apa2 di kampus.. tugas ya masih dalam batas normal lah.. knapa ya? kalo maw dihubung2 in,, ternyata maria banyak pikiran juga ya.. tentang rumah, tentang acara sabtu, tentang yang orang maria buat bingung, tentang pelajaran yang susah.. many things in thought..

racauan tengah malam..

2009-08-20T09:58:00.000-07:00

"emang kamu gak ada perasaan lebih sama dia?"
pertanyaan itu buat maria berpikir.. gimana ya? well,, gak bisa dipungkiri jawaban nya ada.. maria sayang dia lebih dari temen biasa.. tapi sayang ke arah mana? sampe saat ini aku merasa bukan ke arah yang lebih serius.. i think i love him as my really best friend?
i even miss him when he had another girl in his mind.. tapi sampe situ maria masih berpikir kalo itu emang yang akan kejadian kalo temen kamu punya orang lain yang penting.. merasa ditinggalkan sebagai teman kah? atau perasaan lain? hmm..
i like times when we spend together, looking forward to another meet.. tapi bukannya itu wajar sebagai temen??
sometimes when he's so down i'd like to hug him or pat his head to cheer him up.. and i want him to do the same to me.. but that's just what friends'll do, isn't it?
kenyataan nya, saat dia bertanya maria sempat berpikir ya.. i cannot lie that i enjoy when he is around.. tapi maria takut memiliki.. kalo ngerasa memiliki, pada saat butuh maria akaan mencari.. kalo ngerasa memiliki,, suatu saat pasti maria akan egois.. kalo ngerasa memiliki, maria akan meminta dia selalu ada.. karena maria takutmemiliki, tapi gak memiliki di saat yang sama.. memiliki, tapi gak pernah ada.. tapi yang peling penting, does the feeling that i have is the same as his? karena maria gak mau menjalani sesuatu yang akan berakhir dengan cepat, sakit, mengecewakan.. maria gak mau menyakiti dia yang udah baik banget sama maria.. i think he deserve someone better than me? seseorang yang gak plin-plan, yang bener2 yakin sama perasaan nya.. yang gak egois kyk maria mungkin?? hehe..

ngedumel..

2009-08-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

kepanitiaan.. lot of pain, no gain.. i hate the meeting.. bukan nya gak suka materi rapat nya, tapi knapa rapat harus lamaaaa banget kyk gt? knapa dalam rapat ada rapat sendiri? knapa dalam rapat ada satu waktu dimana kyk nya gak penting d ada di situ, secara keadaan cuma kyk kelas kosong, bph rapat sama acara, yang laen dianggurin? knapa rapat waktu nya ganti2?? emang libur ini cuma ngurus rapat? emang kita disangka gak ada rencana lain?? knapa denda nya harus sebanyak itu?! (well,, kalo yang ini gak bisa bnyk ngeluh d,, udah dirapatin dan disetujuin soalnya.. but still..) knapa latian fisik harus dipaksa, bukan buat yang butuh dan yang perlu aja?? (wlpn sebenernya sehat c.. haha..) knapa kalo jualan dipaksa, kan divisi lain membantu aja buat cari dana??? dan kenapa2 lain yang muncul karena ku dah antipati dluan sama kepanitiaan ini.. i wish i choosed the other one.. mungkin ku yang terlalu bnyk ngeluh.. tapi cara jalan nya kepanitiaan ini bener2 gak sejalan sama pikiran ku.. well, something to learn.. sometimes people just don't wanna listen other.. maybe i do to..

thinking..

2009-08-10T10:19:00.000-07:00

well.. it's been so long since the last time i wanna have someone special for me.. that thought has been buried so deep that i prefer not to dig it up anymore.. lively happy with I'm now.. then.. suddenly that thought is being brought up by someone that i don't really expect going to say that.. doesn't mean that i don't like that person or what,, just i thought that person won't bother bout me anymore.. why? because I've been soooooo bad until the point that i think someone would never want to have any relation with me ever again.. cause the other does that.. hehe..
having that being brought up, now it makes me think.. how in fact i envy those who have someone accompany them whether they need someone.. how to be honest i want someone hold my hand.. how actually i want someone for me.. but every time i think about that, it vanished as soon as it come up.. it's just i'm not ready yet.. not ready to have such a disappointment again, not ready to have someone yet don't have anybody to be rely on, not ready to cry again, not ready to disappoint someone.. it really is hurt to know that i actually have someone, but that person is never there.. I'm just someone who will ask many yet never really give anything (at least in my opinion)..just don't wanna hurt anybody neither being hurt by somebody.. it really is annoying to have this thought come and go everyday.. well, i hope you know, that this is nothing to do with you.. it's personal, my self and I..

ribet ajah!

2007-12-28T09:47:00.000-08:00

haaaa... ribet banget maw ngasih barang.. rejeki kok dtolak.. kalo dah kapan2 ngasihnya ya udah basi atuh.. jadi males kan ngasihnya.. dasar dasar dasar!!! sangat tidak ingin merasa punya utang budi.. that's why we have take and give kan.. ko mrasa dkasih mulu kan jadi berat sbelah.. aneh aneh aneh!well, if it's not tommorow, then it's not yours.. sorry, but i guess christmas present isn't a christmas present if it's not given in the christmas' days.. aaaaaaa....

2007-12-24T06:14:00.000-08:00

hya.. senang nya sabtu kmaren.. ku bertemu teman2 kuwh!! ijah, nata, ike greg, ayod, dan danta!! jadi kangeeeen banget masa2 sma.. snangnya bisa ngobrol bareng mereka.. dah lama banget gak ktemu mreka.. (kecuali ike tentunya.. hehe..) pertemuan diawali di PARIS VAN JAVA.. tempat yang ku datangi dari hari kamis sampe minggu, sampe bosen cuma buat nyari takoyaki yang super enak plus makanan sklai buka yang adiktif itu di papaya.. hehe.. enough bout paris van java, pokoknya kita ktemuan dsana.. abis peluk2 dan sedikit menggila, akhirnya kita memutuskan untuk pergi dan makan serabi.. di situ ternyata kita ditempatkan di bagian belakang yang meja nya kotor banget! yah.. tapi gapapa lah.. yang penting sepi.. jadi menggilanya gak mengganggu orang lain yang tidak bersalah.. hehe.. abis slese makan serabi yang dibayarin sama c ijah (thx so much jah!! sering2 yah.. hehe..), kita pindah tempat merusuh. dan tempat yang terpilih adalah KAMPOENG DAUN.. sampe sana langsung dimulai dengan poto2 oleh sang fotografer andal yang merangkap sebagai supir : GREG.. hehe.. jalan dikit, poto, jalan, poto lagi, jalna dikit lagi, poto lagi.. hehe.. pokoknya gmw rugi banget d.. isinya poto2 doang.. untung gak diusir gara2 mengganggu ketenangan publik plus gak bli makanan apa2.. hehe.. sempet jadi modelnya c ike yang pengen mencoba poto gak pake blitz malem2.. (minta poto2 saya ke!! jangan dijual.. hehe).. trus, jam stengah satu-an (well, kampung daun tutup jam 12 loh..) kita pergi dari sana.. naik x-trail c ayod yang katanya gak bisa ditilang sama polisi itu, ku dianter sampe tempat ku menginap PURI SETIABUDHI.. ternyta si ibu dan sodara2 yang laen blom pulang dari CONGO, tempat minum coklat paling yahud kalo menurut maria.. jadi kita duduk2 dlu d di bangku ujung taman.. so sad aku gak bisa ikut nginep di rumah DANTA, jadi menggila nya cuma bisa sbenter deh sama mreka.. but i'm so HAPPY!! ijah, nata, jangan ngabur dlu yah.. kita jalan2 bareng dlu sama anak2 lagi.. kurang lama kmaren.. yah.. ^^
hmmm..
ku sedang merindu..
ku tiba-tiba ingin mempunyai seseorang yang menemani aku.. hehe.. padahal bilangnya "i'm single, and happy"
tapi ternyata ada kalanya juga aku pengen banget ada seseorang buat berbagi rasa.. hmmm.. bukannya temenku gak ada yang bisa berbuat berbagi cerita,, you guys all are sooooo wonderful!! tapi ada kepengen nya juga kan.. hehe.. sapa taw gitu ada yang tooooo tweeeet banget sama maria.. hehe.. apalagi kalo abis ntn film yang sooo romantic.. kan jadi pengen... apalagi kalo cwo nya ganteng.. hehe.. ya.. pokoknya malem ini maria lagi pengan bilang,, "PENGEN PUNYA PACAR".. hehe...

2007-12-10T17:38:00.000-08:00

hmm.. blog lagi yah.. hehe.. masih gaptek dengan penggunaan nya.. tampaknya bisa dibuat lebih bagus daripada friendster.. tapi masih blom taw caranya.. hehe..