well,, just read what my dear pal wrote to me.. and yup, I'm in denial.. pretty hard one i guess.. i like him, no doubt about it.. but i know, i won't make it good, no matter what.. i'm too selfish.. so, i guess it will hurt him if he try to involve in my life..
you know,, there's loads of question that i actually want to ask, which of course i can't.. is it ok to always want you around? is it ok to always be just friend? am i being a bad person? am i already hurt you? am i really LOVE him? or is it just temporary? is it ok to be this selfish? gosh, i hate my self..
well, i'm the worst person ever.. i'm the meanest person ever.. sorry.. not only to that one person who i guess would never read this blog.. but also to you, who probably would read this.. i know i've already hurt you..
say, should i somehow change my self? should i leave them alone? but, again because of my ego, i can't.. i'm too afraid to lose that comfort zone..
well, i really am the worst.. -_-"
2 komentar:
i totally reject it! nope you're not. you can't say that you're worst person because the fact is you're just too scared. i know that cause deep down i believe, as your own self do realize, you never mean it. you know you're scared, it doesn't make you the worst person. everybody has their own weakest point.
kamu ga perlu ngubah diri kamu, jadi kamu apa adanya. sebelum bisa menerima seseorang, yang harus diterima adalah keadaaan diri kamu sendiri.
kalo menurut aku kamu ga segitu selfishnya, justru kamu ga selfish karena kamu terlalu takut nyakitin dia kan? it means kamu mikirin dia, ga mikirin diri kamu sendiri, dan kamu ga selfish karena sebenernya dari pertimbangan kamu ini jadi kamu sendiri yang kebingungan.
don't push yourself too much, you deserve more than this. aku rasa orang yang sayang sama kamu juga mau sayang sama kamu yang apa adanya dengan keadaan kamu, asal kamu sendiri mau terima keadaan kamu.
oh ya saran nih, mikir kejauhan kadang ga bagus, karena kalo kejauhan kadang yang ada cuma asumsi, dan akirnya kita terfokus sama asumsi yang belom tentu bener itu.
you won't hurt them if you don't hurt yourself this way too much.
love yourself, love him, love your life, cause you're such a lovable person. :D
ike manis deh.. hehe..
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